Coulrophobia
by aurimaedre
Summary: Christian is determined to find a horror film that scares Sydney. Written for Chrisney week on tumblr.


**Small Drabble for Chrisney Week and first time writing Chrisney. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I am simply putting together a BroTP that should be canon. **

"Alright, Melbourne, I have decided that it is an offense that you have never sat down and watched a horror movie. I'm fixing that today." Christian said, bursting into her apartment.

"Must you call me, Melbourne? I know you find it funny, but it's getting rather old." Sydney said, not even acknowledging that he just walked into her locked apartment without knocking. This was a common occurrence and the only reason he hadn't been given a key is that he enjoyed testing his lock picking skills on her unsuspecting door. Said it kept his skills current. Sydney made the mistake of one day saying that he had never needed to pick a lock before, why think he would need to in the future? His gaze had turned dark and reflective, only muttering "Spokane." She didn't need any more than that, already knowing what had happened to him. She never said anything about it again and just continued letting him pick her lock. She even had fun with it, adding some locks to her door to challenge him and going as far as to time him when she first heard him walk up. He had gotten really good at it and she was going to have to start thinking of other challenging things to do, maybe add in a chain lock, because it only took him two minutes to figure out which locks were locked and pick them.

"Of course I do! It's the funniest fucking thing I have seen! Jackie purposely gets your name wrong, something that would normally drive you up the wall, correcting her as you go, and you just roll your eyes and let her. She is doing you some good. I am merely helping." He said, twirling the DVD around his finger.

"Sure. Your sincerity is thinly veiled behind your sarcasm and delight. Along with bad 90's references." She replied dryly before acknowledging what was in his hands, "What have you got there?"

Christian hopped over her couch and landed with a plop, "Only one of the cheesiest, greatest horror movies of all time!"

She looked at him skeptically, one eyebrow raised. A look he was becoming very familiar with. "Nope, that look isn't going to work on me. We are having ourselves a movie night, popcorn and sugary drinks included."

Sydney released a sigh of resignation, "And what are you making me watch?"

He spun the DVD around his finger again, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

"Joy. I guess I'll go make the popcorn."

The movie passed, too slowly in Sydney's opinion. When it ended Christian paused and turned to her with a smile. "So… what did you think? Great right?"

"That was supposed to be scary?"

"Yes! Classic slasher film guaranteed to make you jump and cringe." He was rather enthusiastic about this film, so much so that Sydney felt bad for bursting his bubble… but not quite bad enough to keep quiet about it.

"That's not scary. First, it was overly crude so none of the gore was really effective. Second, the entire concept of Leatherface is a fallacy." She went into lecture mode.

"You see it's supposed to portray the real-life murder Ed Gein. That's the only part about it that is scary. That some of it is based partially, liberally, on facts. It scares you because it could happen… in a much less dramatic sense. But Ed Gein died in 1984, eliminating the scare factor. He is no longer around so it makes no logical sense to be afraid of Leatherface and no copy-cat is going to go anywhere near this because it has been so mediatized. Therefore, not scary." She finished her mini lecture and turned to look at Christian. He was open-mouthed, his eyes conflicted, torn between shock and awe.

"I can't believe you just turned Texas Chainsaw Massacre into a dissertation… well, actually I can believe it, I just didn't expect it. So this movie wasn't scary… At all?"

"No, all you have to do is reason your way around it." She explained.

"That's it. I am making it my mission to find a horror movie that will scare you." He challenged.

Sydney scoffed, "Good luck with that. Logic will win in the end."

Christian settled back into the couch, "I have a plan. But for now-" he scrolled through the TV guide, "Dorian Grey? You can say everything they got wrong."

Sydney's eyes light up, "Oh, yes please."

The following week Christian showed up again, this time with 28 Days Later. "Zombie time." He said as he put in the DVD.

Sydney wasn't impressed with this one either. "A virus wouldn't transmit like that from primate to human."

"Are you kidding me?! You disproved the film within the first five mins!"

"What can I say, it was based on a poor scientific conclusion." Sydney said with a shrug.

Christian groaned.

Next he went for a classic serial killer film, Saw.

"Obviously I have nothing to worry about; I don't have any of the traits the killer uses to pick his victims." She refuted.

Christian threw his hands up in mock defeat.

"So you give up?" Sydney asked with a smirk.

"Just for today. You have won the battle but I will win the war. I promise you that." He said seriously.

After that he tried a supernatural film, hoping that the unknown would scare her. "This one should scare you. Insidious."

The film played and Sydney remained untouched.

"Astral projection isn't possible. Mrs. Terwilliger and I talked about it the other week."

And on it went. Christian tried everything, from classics to modern. There was The Grudge, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Alien, Hellraiser, Halloween, Paranormal Activity, and Cabin in the Woods. While she appreciated the sarcasm and the dual nature of the last one, she shot town all of them with a single sentence.

Finally, he was on his last movie. He walked into her apartment, mentally exhausted. "Alright. This is my last movie… You will probably laugh at it to be honest… but if you don't find this scary… I admit defeat."

"You have finally started to come around to the truth, Ozera." She taunted, motioning him to put it in.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" He questioned.

"Why? I am going to dispute it anyways. Knowing the title of the film doesn't matter."

"Fine…" He pressed play.

The opening credits started playing, "I'm going to go grab some popcorn and something to drink." She said, standing up.

"You are going to miss the first part of the movie!"

"It's not like the first five minutes of a horror movie matter, Christian."

"Fine… ruin the experience. Shatter the delusion… you were going to do that anyways." He said darkly.

Sydney ruffled his hair affectionately. "Don't worry, there will still be plenty of time for me to disprove your ass, brother."

He swatted her hand away grumpily, his eyes focused on the screen. "Well, I want to preserve the magic. The beginning is where the music sets the emotion of the film. Gets you into it."

Sydney chuckled before leaving the room. The movie started, the music playing eerily in the background. It opened up with one of the first victims, a child, climbing into a storm drain to retrieve a paper boat. Pennywise had shown up and Christian leaned forward as the clown tempted the child forward with fake promises. The clown was seconds away from revealing his true motives and tearing the child's arm off when he heard a bloodcurdling scream and glass shattering.

Caught up in the film and hearing Sydney scream like that… he had never heard her scream like that. It caused him to just react. He unconsciously created a fireball and threw it at the TV, sending sparks, glass and the smell of burning plastic everywhere. He turned to look back at Sydney. The popcorn bowl was shattered around her feet, her face twisted in terror, tears streaming down her face and seconds away from going into hysterics.

Christian tossed himself over the couch and rushed towards her. "Sydney. Don't. Move. You have glass around you and I need to pick it up, okay?" She gave a small nod.

He picked up the pieces, thankful that it broke neatly and only in large pieces. Ceramic was definitely an advantage. He stood up and took Sydney in his arms. "It's okay; it was just a movie…. I didn't know."

Sydney shuttered, trying to hold back in her reaction. "You didn't know. It's okay… I don't tell people. They would laugh at me, especially because I work with real-life scary, unnatural things. Or that I have seen and been captured by Strigoi."

Christian continued holding her, rubbing her back as she calmed down. Finally, ten minutes later, she was back to normal. They both stepped back, taking in the apartment at the same time and staring at the TV in astonishment. The TV popped, breaking their shock and Christian burst out into laughter.

"Well this certainly has been an interesting afternoon. Who would have thought."

Sydney gave a small smile, "Well… It's not logical! Wearing shoes that are too big and having smiles painted on their faces! None of it makes any sense and there are more children who don't like clowns that do, the job shouldn't have lasted! It's… unnatural! Not to mention, Keith thought it would be amusing to tie me to a chair and watch this movie when I was four. Ever since that day… I just can't."

Christian gave her an easy smile, "Alright. No more clowns. Got it."


End file.
